Posted in Interviews

“Big dreams with a even bigger God”

This is my way of giving something back to my Savior, of course it’s nothing compared to what He did on the cross, but I know it’s because of his blood and bruises that I am healed.

Who is Lenaa I AM in one sentence?

A young woman with big dreams with a bigger God.

What is the inspiration for your name?

Before I started as a solo artist, I wanted to start as a duo with my younger sister. We were planning to go by the name “Linaa Lenaa”. But we didn’t continue with that project because even though my younger sister loved music, she wanted to focus on other things. I was in my feelings about the situation. So, one day I decided to pray about it. I was very nervous because I had to change the vision and I felt like I wasn’t good/talented enough to go out there as a solo artist. While I was praying, I strongly felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. He started to speak to me, and I remember asking Him this question: “Every song I’ve written is a duet, how am I going to do this?” And He replied: “I AM your duo now, you and me. You will not be alone because I am with you.” Then He led me to the book of Exodus 3:14 “God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’” So that night instead of “Linaa Lenaa” it became “Lenaa I AM” As in Lenaa and The Great I AM.

Why did you choose to become a Gospel singer instead of a mainstream music singer? And was it a difficult decision?

This is my way of giving something back to my Savior, of course it’s nothing compared to what He did on the cross, but I know it’s because of his blood and bruises that I am healed. He changed me, and a lot of my old/bad habits, took me out of depression, and many other situations. He changed me from the inside out (He’s still working on me daily btw). His love is pure and unconditional. So, the question is why not become a Gospel singer?

As a Gospel singer, how do you perceive mainstream music?

I believe it’s important to have a personal relationship with God because the works of the Holy Spirit is always on a personal level. I always ask myself the questions: “Is it beneficial? Does it affect my spirit? Change my mood? or does it distract me from the things God told me to do?” I think it’s something you need to figure out for yourself and be honest about it. 

I know that you recently brought out your single “Lost” what would you say is the inspiration of this song?

My single “Lost” was my prayer, it was a cry to God, whom I needed at that moment. So, I guess I would say, my difficulties.

Who would you say is your greatest inspiration?

Mary Mary, a gospel duo, who played a big part in the lives of my little sister and I. That’s why I came up with the duo “Linaa Lenaa” in the first place. They were one of the biggest gospel artists that I knew. I always loved the way they sang, and how they always came up with new sounds.

What is your goal as an Artiest?

My Goal is to enlarge the kingdom of God, motivating people by introducing them to Jesus Christ and bringing them joy, peace and hope and all the other good stuff that comes with having Christ in your life. Also, to show others that you really can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

What would you say to anyone who is struggling to decide to follow their dreams even though it might be a risky dream?

Just do it. Get out of your head, don’t look at what you have or don’t have, and don’t look at your weaknesses. Start to find strength/positivity in your weaknesses because God Has already giving you the tools that you need. And spend a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of time with the Lord and His Word, and just do it!

Do you worry about not succeeding?

To be honest I used to, even until a few weeks ago. But not anymore because I know who I am.

Posted in Spiritual Discipline

Daniel Fast Journey 2020

I will start off saying that this fast really wasn’t half as easy as I thought It would be. Which I’m glad about because if it would have been easy it, wouldn’t have been a fast. I thought it would be easy because I love fruits and I barely buy any snacks at all. So, yes it wasn’t hard during the time I was at home. You can probably already guess it…
Things got harder the times I was outside, either at work, with families or during the times I was doing a specific activity during which I had the habit of snacking, like reading for an example.

I was very motivated and ready to go for it in the first and a half weeks. The second half of that week and the last week were a lot harder, especially the last week. I found myself losing a lot of focus during those weeks. Which is a shame, but that’s the struggle of a long fast.

When you scroll down, you will see the things I fasted for and the lessons I received in each area. I hope that these lessons can also be off help to you.

I fasted for:

  • Growth in my prayer life:
    • schedule it on a specific time
    • use bible verses to pray with
    • you can start praying from the inside-out or the outside-in. Meaning: you can start praying for yourself and end with praying for others. That would be from the inside-out, or you can pray the other way around.
    • Prayer is realizing you need God.
    • An essential element of humility = prayer.
    • 2 Chronicles 15:2 The Lord is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you. 
    • When you pray, you’re not begging God. You’ve been invited to ask, seek and knock. Matthew 7:7
  • Become more zealous for Christ:
    • James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
      • This specific vers helped me truly realized where the heart of God lies. For a very long time, I’ve mixed God’s priority with the world’s priority one way or another which lead me to make things very complicated for myself. I can now start focussing on the things that are truly important to God. I must say that reading the Bible also helped me to get more insight into these things.
  • Proverbs 29:18 … Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; But happy is he who keeps the law. (Where there is no vision people perish)
    • I came across this verse while listening to a sermon of MK form TC and he once more reminded me of the importance of knowing where am going, knowing what the goal is. Because the things of the world and the things of God get mixed-up so easily these days, it helps to know what your goal/vision is in life.
  • Matthew 5: “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. 14  “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
    • Being the SALT of the earth means being valuable, common, indispensable, and useful. (Zeke AIPC)
    • Being the LIGHT of the world means that you are important and that the world needs your light to shine bright, not to be deemed or hidden. (Zeke AIPC)
    • This teaching has once more anchored my Identity in Christ!
  • Growth in holiness and purity:
    • If you don’t admit that your weakness is real, you can’t ever be strong in that area. (Mike T. TC)
    • My weakness is only a weakness if I’m trying to do things in my own strength. But it becomes a gift if I do things being aware the grace of God in my life. (Charles TC)
    • This fast made me realize that even though I really desire to become holy, pure and blameless before God, I can’t do it with my own strength. I need God’s help.

The lesson that kept repeating over and over again was the importance of the things I exposed my eyes to. I noticed again and again how much that influent me above all other things.

I didn’t pray for things that I can receive directly. They’re things that take time to cultivate. So, as you can read, God gave me instructions on how I can achieve these things over time. As you also may have seen, they’re things that have a lot to do with my current state. Things I can start doing if I want to get to that goal.

Sometimes when we request something from God, the most important part can be that we must change certain things in our lives first or change a certain mindset before we can achieve/receive our request.

Posted in Spiritual Discipline


What is fasting?

The Bible teaches us that fasting = going without food for a period of time in order to focus on God through prayer.

To make the matter complete, we would add that fasting, if we conceive of it truly, must not only be confined to the question of food and drink; fasting should really be made to include abstince from anything which is legitimate in and of itself for the sake of some special spiritual purpose. There are many bodily functions that are right and normal and perfectly legitimate, but which for special peculiar reasons in certain circumstances should be controlled.

Martyn Lloyd-Jones

There are other ways to fast besides going without food. These ways the Bible doesn’t directly teach on, but the Bible does teach us to get rid of anything that can make us stumble (Matthew 5:30). In this generation, we have so much that can make us stumble. It’s pretty much like the world is waiting to cater to our sins and distractions. So, you might not have to cut your arm, but maybe the internet for some time, or social media whatever takes a lot of your time. The time you can spend in prayer or reading the Word of God.

Several Kinds of fasting:

  • Normal fast: abstaining from all food, but not from water (Matthew 4:2, Luke 4:2)
  • Partial fast: limitation of the diet, but not abstention from all food (Daniël 1:12, Matthew 3:4).
  • Absolute fast: abstaining from all food and drink (Ezra 10:6, Esther 4:16)
  • Private fast: fasting in a way not to be noticed by others. (Matthew 6: 16 – 18)There are some others as well, but I would like to leave it at this for this post.

I do want to mention that point 4 is actually something that is always included in every fast. We are not to go around telling people of the fact that we are fasting. 

For the problem is not wether another person knows or asks about your fast, but wether you want him or her to know or asks so you can appear more spiritual.

Donald S. Whitney

Godly fasting:
= fasting with the purpose to get closer to God.​ Examples of Godly fasts:

  • To strengthen prayer (Daniel 9: 3)

Fasting is calculated to bring a note of urgency and importunity into our prayer, and to give force to our pleading in the court of heaven. The man who prays with fasting is giving heaven notice that he is truly in earnestness in a divinely appointed way. He is using a means that God has chosen to make his voice to be heard on high.

Arthur Wallis
  • To seek God’s guidance (Acts 14:23)

You can pray about any decision that can have a direct impact on your life. The new year fasting I spoke about in my last post is a good example of this kind of fasting. I have been fasting at the beginning of every year for the past 3 years, simply to ask for the guidance of God throughout the year. Another example of this kind of fasting was when I fasted for the right college, right subject to study and the right place to live. So, like I said before it really can be about anything that can have a direct impact on your life.

  • To express grief (1 Samuel 20:34)

“Fasting can be a means of expressing grief for the sins of others, such as for the sins of people within your church or for sins by your country.” For example, The moment that the Holy Spirit really started working in me, he opened my eyes not only to see my own sins but also the sins of my church members and of my country. It was more the general sins that others might see as just something minor. For a week-long I had such an extreme sadness living in me, a heaviness on my chest I simply can’t explain. So, I decided to fast and pray for all our sins. To express my grief towards God, beg for mercy and ask for protection for those who did what they did out of lack of knowledge.

  • To seek Deliverance or Protection (Esther ​4:16)

15Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: 16“Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”

  • To express Repentance and the Return to God (Joel 2:12)

In 2018 I fasted once every week for exactly this reason. Because I was very aware of the fact that going to church on Sundays alone wasn’t enough to keep growing as a Christian. Besides that, I also knew that the flow of life could take me away from the path of God. So, I fasted to ask for forgiveness for any sin I might have committed in that week and it also served as a remembrance to return to God.

  • To humble oneself before God (Psalm 35:13)

This is also one of the reasons why I fasted once a week in the year 2018. It truly helped me humble my self before God because it reminded me how much I needed God.

By this we must not conclude that the act of fasting has some virtuous power, and that we have made ourselves more humble; there is no virtue in fallen man by which he can make himself more godly; there is, however, virtue in the divinely appointed means of grace. If we, by the power of the Holy Spirit, mortify the deeds of the body (through fasting), we shall grow in grace, but the glory of such change will be God’s alone. For as long as I can remember I was thaught that because fasting itself is a sacrifice, the act itself is more than enough to get God’s favor for what I was fasting for. Which in essence didn’t make any sense, because it will then come to the fact that I’m getting paid for my work, which goes against the sovereignty and grace of God.

David Smith
  • To express concern for the work of God (Nehemiah 1: 3 – 4)

They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” 4When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.

  • ​To minister to the needs of others (Isaiah 58)

I have never done this kind of fasting, but I use to be a Muslim and during the Ramadan it is known to be on your best behavior, combine with good deeds for the poor. But what I noticed is that as sincere those deeds were, they also almost disappeared after the Ramadan period. Most of us also simply went back to our old ways after the fasting period. Isaiah says it all in

Isaiah 58: … For day after day they seek me out;they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God. They ask me for just decisions and seem eager for God to come near them. … “Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you pleaseand exploit all your workers. 4Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high.

  • To overcome temptation and dedicate yourself to God (Matthew 4: 1 – 11)

One principle we learn form Jesus’ example is this: Fasting is a way to overcoming temptation and of freshly dedicating ourselves to the Father.

Donald S. Whitney

There are general things that tempt us all, but there are also more specific areas of our personal lives that might be or bring temptations into our lives. It is of great importance to take action against this. Because sin that one doesn’t address might grow to lead one to the end.

  • To express Love and Worship to God (Luke 2: 37)

The very first time I fasted as a Christian was to express my gratitude toward God for His mercy and Grace. As you might have read in my introduction post, I use to have a very hard time living at home which led to some horrible experiences. So, I fasted to thank God for getting me out of that situation and for not giving up on me. Do know that if your expression of love and worship is not sincere during your fasting, it will become a very hard fasting period. But if it is, it will be so much easier! I personally bearly felt anything at all. ​

Fasting with a purpose

I’ve already spoken about this in the New year fasting post, but I would like to add this to it.

Whitout a purpose, fasting can be a miserable, self-centred experience about willpower and endurance. Whithout a clear biblical purpose, fasting becomes an end in itself. Every hunger pang only makes you calculate the time remaining until you can eat. Such thinking disconnects the experience in your mind and heart from the gospel and descends into the deception that perhaps your suffering will earn God’s favor. Although the physical discomfort is unpleasing, perhaps even painful, it is important to feel some degree of hunger during your fast. Your hunger helps you, serving as continual reminder of your spiritual purpose.

Donald S. Whitney

Fasting and prayer

Fasting without prayer is a huge waste of time. It’s no different from a simple diet. I have heard this being said: “Being a Christian is like having a weapon and the bullet of that weapon is prayer”.

In giving us the privilege of fasting as well as praying God had added a powerful weapon to our spiritual armory.

Arthur Wallis

Even though the Bible teaches us that Jesus expected us to pray (Matthew 6: 16 – 17), prayer is one of the most neglected spiritual disciplines. I must confess that my prayer life is way beneath what I would like it to be aswell, but this doesn’t keep me from praying during any fasting period I commit myself to. I have experienced that fasting really does strength one’s prayer life. 

Maybe a small tip if you are having difficulties praying: you can use the Psalm to pray, It really contains about every subject we deal with as Christians. Besides that, there are also prayer books you can buy. You can start with those, as you use those, you will start to have words of your own. But the best way to learn how to pray is by reading the Bible. Because prayer is in some way an expression of what one knows about God. You can’t speak of what you don’t know.

Your heart position while doing Godly purposed kind of fasting is of great importance to God. God, in general, is way more interested in our heart posture than anything else. So, definitely consider your reason for fasting, reflects on if you are doing it for the right reason? or just as a religious duty?

Any blessing which is bestowed by the Father upon His undeserving children must be considered to be an act of grace. We fail to appreciate the mercy of the Lord if we think that by our doing something we have forced (or even coerced) God to grant that blessing which we have asked for… All of our fasting, therefore, must be on this basis; we should use scriptural means whereby we are melted into a more complete realization of the purposes of the Lord in our life, church, community, and nation.

David Smith


 Book: “Spiritual disciplines for the Christian life”​ (pages 191 – 2019)

The Bible: see the verses noted in the text.

Posted in About



My name is Hawanatu Dumbuya

I am a young woman who used to go through life without any hope, depressed, angry, aggressive, anxious, … I could go on for a while. I lived my life on an automatic pilot day in and day out. While being abused verbally, mentally, physically …, in the comfort of my own home (or at least that’s what it was supposed to be. A home). A young bright, lively and kind girl ends up living (or should I say exciting) just like that day in and day out.

This is the awful truth about my life before Christ found me and breathed life into me again. He gave me my joy back, thaught me true love, I found a peace that I cannot fantom, thaught me who I am and showed me what I am worth. I, who used to live such an empty life, now my cup runs over! And that’s exactly the reason why I’ve started this blog. I know how many more people are still struggling with the same things that I have gone through and now I’ve been set free from all those bondages, and am currently still being set free from some, I want nothing else but to share my journey with others. I hope to inspire non-Christians to take some kind of interest in the Christian faith because, as a living testimony I tell you that Jesus Christ is the savior the world needs. I also hope to inspire those who already are Christians to take the next step in their Christian lifestyle.
Just so to be clear am not a perfect Christian, I don’t have everything in order, I still have my ups and downs as I am trying to fulfill my God-given purpose, I have tons of questions and doubts, but all I know is that I don’t want to live a second without Jesus Christ. Life is simply not worth living without Him.

So, Welcome into my deepest thoughts and let’s get this journey started!